上月爸爸返醫院照超聲波，早幾天複診看報告。醫生說，爸爸的肝臟有一顆黑影，應該是新長出來的組織，要再排期檢查，確定它是什麼。政府醫院排期時間可能比較長，要有心理準備等兩個月。
媽媽在電話裡聲音平靜得出奇，我耳裡卻有轟轟雷響。
之前爸爸每一次複診，我都陪著他們。最近因為自己沒勤工，媽媽說端午已過，就讓我回家趕作業，複診例行公事，兩老自覺應付得了。
冷靜地跟爸媽計劃好再約見醫生、找私營化驗所做檢查等決定。夜已更深，思前想後，忍不住痛哭。
黎明前的等待最是難挨。在沒事可做的這幾天，心情份外忐忑。
為什麼是和你一樣的部位呢？我心驚怖。
為什麼這次我沒有陪他們，偏偏就出紕漏呢？
你離開前一天，看著我連日長時間逗留醫院，你心疼地說：「明天不要這麼早來了，先在家做點輕鬆工作，下午再來探我。」
我頷首，聽你的。第二天果然做了點功課交上去，然後才去看你……
巧合得可怕。
Touch wood，爸爸一定會好起來。一定會。一定會。一定會。一定會。一定會。
15.6.11
6.6.11
4.6.11
Hero
- by Mariah Carey
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know will melt away
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
You can find love if you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt will disappear
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone tear them away
Hold on, there will be tomorrow
In time, you'll find the way
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know will melt away
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
You can find love if you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt will disappear
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone tear them away
Hold on, there will be tomorrow
In time, you'll find the way
And then a hero comes alone
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
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